There was this really awkward kid standing in the elevator with me today. He had a bunch of camera equipment (monopod, tripod, camera case, backpack, blah blah blah...) and it was obvious that he was having a rough time lugging everything. When his floor came up he tried to exit the elevator but somehow all his gear kept getting stuck in the doors. When he was completely free he scurried out of sight. 

... I really just wanted to give him a hug and tell him that I knew exactly the embarrassment he was feeling, since I had just flashed a professional looking business man, and twenty art students my undies (and the holes in them) while walking over a subway grate. 

"wait, wait. holes in them????" you may ask. 

"Why yes!" I reply. "I'm a starving artist now. Instead of underwear, I have to buy seventy dollars worth of colored pencils!" 

This is the moment where I realize that I am a fool. 

... I Am Haley, A Pea-Brained City Virgin.  

So there's been a lot, a lot going on! 

Here's the slightly summarized version. Yesterday I went to my first class of the year (which was writing) and I could definitely tell I was in art school within the first five minutes. We were told to introduce ourselves and tell everyone where we were from. Normal? Ok, except we couldn't say where we were from literally. We had to say where we were from figuratively. As in, "My name is Haley, and I'm from that scene in Wall-E where he finds out that there's more to the world than what he's known previously". Yes, I really said that. It had to do with our major so I hope that makes my response more respectable. 

After class I asked the guy I sat next to directions to Ohio St. While doing so, I called him the wrong name, and after he told me the directions, I started walking the wrong way. Ugh... the embarrassment will never end. So goes life. 

It's OK though! Because I definitely found my way and soon (soon being 5 hrs...) I was jamming out to a free Black Eyed Peas show hosted by Oprah, in which the whole audience had to learn a dance and then perform it while the camera's were rolling. I'll be on TV tomorrow. Watch me:) 

Later on that evening I got a card and some birthday money (hellooooo Micky D's and laundry cash!), vegged out, and got mad at my boyfriend for pretty much nothing but it bugged me nonetheless. I really do wish I was less of a girl:( 

Then today was my first animation class. And can I just say that I feel like I definitely, definitely belong. A couple of kids in the class were hilarious, and I just find everything so interesting. I seriously can't wait to start a project, and although I need a tonnnn of improving I'm pumped to work to where I want to be. 

That's about it. I have to go pick up books, my Upass, and then I have another class:) 

... I Am Haley, An Excited City Virgin. 

So, I don't really have one substantial amusing story to tell you, and this made me debate for about a half hour on whether or not I should really write anything....

I decided yes, because I have things to say, and whether it has any real substance to it or not, I want to say it. 

1. Today was pretty exciting. I cleaned. and uh... did laundry. When I was cleaning I jammed to my man, Dallas Green, and this totally brought up this childhood memory where I would wake up on the occasional Saturday mornings when it was my dad's turn to clean, and he would be jamming to The Moody Blues. For a moment I thought, "I'm turning into my father". And for a lot of people (Luke Skywalker especially) this would be a terrifying notion, but I just sat there and giggled a little to myself. I'm glad I have the amazing parents where I can laugh instead of freak when I do something that they do.  Oh, I talked to them today too. They're well and send their regards. 

... I really have no idea why I just wrote that "send their regards" part... I need to get friends ASAP. I mean, really, I'm blogging at midnight on a friday, annnnnnd I referenced Luke Skywalker... really, really sad:(

2. I did go out yesterday and hang out with people though, so I'm not a complete hermit. After signing up for six clubs at convocation (To Write Love on Her Arms, Cinergy Productions, Student Alumni, Student Photographers, Fashion Club, and... Recycling Collecting?... wtf?) I decided to alllllsoooo attend Cinema Slapdown. Which is essentially watching a movie and then having a student and a professional duke it out over whether it was good or not. The professional won. He proclaimed it "shitty cinematic crack" and "like watching someone get kicked in the balls," AKA: a shitty fast paced way to laugh at people's pain. I guess I should've known, James Van Der Beek was in it... 

3. And on another note, today I really wanted something out of the vending machines... and I didn't have any dollars or quarters. I'm pretty sure this is God's way of telling me, "Congrats! You're in art school! Get ready to starve the rest of your life!" 

... I Am Haley, A Content-Yet-Lonely City Virgin

Today was the first day where I had to do some things for school. I had a film major meeting to attend, which was pretty boring and redundant because of previous orientations, but there was still some perks. Like that boy with the british accent sitting somewhere in the crowd behind me? I swear, when he asked a question at the Q&A session, every single female head whipped around to see where that glorious voice was coming from. 

...except for mine of course. One, I'm way too bashful. And two, I have a boyfriend who is near perfect (all that's missing is a foreign accent... meh... i'm sure he can learn to speak with one. problem solved. haha! jokes. jooookes). 

Nonetheless, the day was pretty ordinary. Other than the guy walking past me on the sidewalk who turned to his friend and said, "Can we pull over? I have to piss". 

Oh.... OK. 

... I Am Haley, An Amused City Virgin. 

And so it begins... the series of embarrassing events that have been happening my whole life and that I was hoping I'd be able to evade in Chicago. 

Acting like a noob when you just move to a big city is acceptable. There's no way that anyone can know everything about a vast amount of space in one day. So, if Embarrassing Event number 1 was that I got dreadfully lost, I would excuse myself. But this... THIS is never acceptable, EVER. 

I walked to a hip, urban store yesterday hoping to find some real sweet dishes. I got to this hip, urban store and ended up buying some hip, urban bowls. I felt this new surge of confidence all the while. Here I was, in Chicago, buying bowls so casually, so residentially. "I. Am. A. Chicagoan". Those were the four words that were floating in my head making me walk like I knew the place like the back of my hand. However, my new found city confidence came crashing down once I reached a crosswalk. A lady tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Hon, I just want to tell you that your dress is stuck in your tights". 

I could only reply with, "...........................................! Th-th-th-th-thanksss.......",

...which soon turned to "alksjdflkja!!!!! fkajsldkjf!!!!  :(" as soon as she walked away.

There I was, walking like I was the shit, wearing a cute, cute outfit, holding onto my hip, urban store bag and my left buttcheek was exposed to the world. I mean, yes, I was wearing thick tights, but I'm pretty sure my pink hearted underwear were highly visible. 

Ughh.. the horror... THE HORROR! 

I quickly fixed my ensemble and walked the rest of the way back to my apartment a little less full of pride. I suppose everyone needs a little humility once in awhile, right? It's a good way to keep a person healthily humble. And as of now, I'm the most humble person I know. 

... I Am Haley, An Inexplicable Embarrassed City Virgin.