7 Things I Would Like to Say to the People In Caribou Coffee Currently:

1. Everyone: Do not under any circumstances give a "taxi cab" driver a dirty look when in chicago. Even if they do almost hit you. Cab cars look a lot like cop cars in this city. 

2. Couple A Few Tables Away: Unless you're planning to propose in two seconds, please do not make googly eyes with your significant other. There's some of us who would rather not be witness to your vom-worthy PDA. 

3. Guy Sitting Two Tables From Me: shoes that have individual toe holes will never be in fashion. but I'm impressed you found such distinctive footwear.

4. Large Man Making Your Way Into The Coffee House's Facilities: don't stare at the girl sitting at the table near the bathroom door as you go in the bathroom. It's creepy. 

5. Caribou Coffee: Please keep playing George Michael. It's making my day. 

6. Guy who just left: Passing gas and then walking away is like a hit and run. Completely unacceptable. 

7. Me: Go take a shower. You look like a homeless. 

- I Am Haley, A Wise City Virgin

I finished my first drawn animation last night! ...well the pencil test at least. haha! 

The next step is to color it. So this morning, I spent all four hours of my class coloring and watching animations that the teacher was showing. It was during that time that I realized that I had been prepping for this my whole life. All those hours watching One Saturday Morning, and all those times I busted my butt to win first place in Ms. Olde's second grade coloring contests (which was every time except once, thank you very much!)... it's all really paying off:) 

Haha! Check it out: Morphing Pencil Test. 

- I am Haley, An Exuberant City Virgin

Happy October! I know I haven't wrote in a while but I've been busy... you know.. with school, grocery shopping, homework, eating, and facebook stalking.  ...don't judge. you've probably been doing/have done the same.

Anyways.. today I came back from my first weekend trip to central, andddd I almost missed my train. It was supposed to leave at 447.. i got there at 443... (I got lost two times on my drive to the station. I blamed it on mapquest.. but I'm pretty sure I'm just an idiot). So there I was, running for my life, while carrying my backpack, Mary Poppin's sized purse, and winter jacket that my mom fedex'd to me, hoping that the train wouldn't start chugging away even though all the doors were already closed and locked. That's when one of the conductors poked his head out of the window and said, "Don't worry hun! We won't leave without ya!" I just laughed and ran along, probably looking like a crazy. I appreciated his kindness.. at the same time.. I was glad that the passengers weren't able to hear him. Although I'm sure that I brought enough attention to myself by awkwardly running along.

I got back alright though (obviously). I just want to say, that I love Chicago, and the buildings and the lights, but I miss my trees. And all the pretty colors that they change in fall. You don't get that so much in Chicago. Fall is cloudy and cold here, not so much crisp. Def. not about picking apples and pumpkins and going to haunted hay rides and bonfires. Here, fall is just a warning for the coming winter. I suppose you have to give up some things to get others. Which could also describe the relationship between how difficult it is to be able to see my boyfriend, and me living in my (currently) favorite city... See ya next month Chris:-/ 

I'm not complaining though! Don't you dare for a second think that that is what is going on. I love Chicago, I love the choice I made, and I wouldn't take it back for anything. There are things that I wish I could kind of glitch, but I can't. Life. 

-I Am Haley, A Tired-and-Kind-of-Sad-(Although-She-Has-No-Legitimate-Reason-to-Be) City Virgin

There was this really awkward kid standing in the elevator with me today. He had a bunch of camera equipment (monopod, tripod, camera case, backpack, blah blah blah...) and it was obvious that he was having a rough time lugging everything. When his floor came up he tried to exit the elevator but somehow all his gear kept getting stuck in the doors. When he was completely free he scurried out of sight. 

... I really just wanted to give him a hug and tell him that I knew exactly the embarrassment he was feeling, since I had just flashed a professional looking business man, and twenty art students my undies (and the holes in them) while walking over a subway grate. 

"wait, wait. holes in them????" you may ask. 

"Why yes!" I reply. "I'm a starving artist now. Instead of underwear, I have to buy seventy dollars worth of colored pencils!" 

This is the moment where I realize that I am a fool. 

... I Am Haley, A Pea-Brained City Virgin.  

So there's been a lot, a lot going on! 

Here's the slightly summarized version. Yesterday I went to my first class of the year (which was writing) and I could definitely tell I was in art school within the first five minutes. We were told to introduce ourselves and tell everyone where we were from. Normal? Ok, except we couldn't say where we were from literally. We had to say where we were from figuratively. As in, "My name is Haley, and I'm from that scene in Wall-E where he finds out that there's more to the world than what he's known previously". Yes, I really said that. It had to do with our major so I hope that makes my response more respectable. 

After class I asked the guy I sat next to directions to Ohio St. While doing so, I called him the wrong name, and after he told me the directions, I started walking the wrong way. Ugh... the embarrassment will never end. So goes life. 

It's OK though! Because I definitely found my way and soon (soon being 5 hrs...) I was jamming out to a free Black Eyed Peas show hosted by Oprah, in which the whole audience had to learn a dance and then perform it while the camera's were rolling. I'll be on TV tomorrow. Watch me:) 

Later on that evening I got a card and some birthday money (hellooooo Micky D's and laundry cash!), vegged out, and got mad at my boyfriend for pretty much nothing but it bugged me nonetheless. I really do wish I was less of a girl:( 

Then today was my first animation class. And can I just say that I feel like I definitely, definitely belong. A couple of kids in the class were hilarious, and I just find everything so interesting. I seriously can't wait to start a project, and although I need a tonnnn of improving I'm pumped to work to where I want to be. 

That's about it. I have to go pick up books, my Upass, and then I have another class:) 

... I Am Haley, An Excited City Virgin. 

So, I don't really have one substantial amusing story to tell you, and this made me debate for about a half hour on whether or not I should really write anything....

I decided yes, because I have things to say, and whether it has any real substance to it or not, I want to say it. 

1. Today was pretty exciting. I cleaned. and uh... did laundry. When I was cleaning I jammed to my man, Dallas Green, and this totally brought up this childhood memory where I would wake up on the occasional Saturday mornings when it was my dad's turn to clean, and he would be jamming to The Moody Blues. For a moment I thought, "I'm turning into my father". And for a lot of people (Luke Skywalker especially) this would be a terrifying notion, but I just sat there and giggled a little to myself. I'm glad I have the amazing parents where I can laugh instead of freak when I do something that they do.  Oh, I talked to them today too. They're well and send their regards. 

... I really have no idea why I just wrote that "send their regards" part... I need to get friends ASAP. I mean, really, I'm blogging at midnight on a friday, annnnnnd I referenced Luke Skywalker... really, really sad:(

2. I did go out yesterday and hang out with people though, so I'm not a complete hermit. After signing up for six clubs at convocation (To Write Love on Her Arms, Cinergy Productions, Student Alumni, Student Photographers, Fashion Club, and... Recycling Collecting?... wtf?) I decided to alllllsoooo attend Cinema Slapdown. Which is essentially watching a movie and then having a student and a professional duke it out over whether it was good or not. The professional won. He proclaimed it "shitty cinematic crack" and "like watching someone get kicked in the balls," AKA: a shitty fast paced way to laugh at people's pain. I guess I should've known, James Van Der Beek was in it... 

3. And on another note, today I really wanted something out of the vending machines... and I didn't have any dollars or quarters. I'm pretty sure this is God's way of telling me, "Congrats! You're in art school! Get ready to starve the rest of your life!" 

... I Am Haley, A Content-Yet-Lonely City Virgin

Today was the first day where I had to do some things for school. I had a film major meeting to attend, which was pretty boring and redundant because of previous orientations, but there was still some perks. Like that boy with the british accent sitting somewhere in the crowd behind me? I swear, when he asked a question at the Q&A session, every single female head whipped around to see where that glorious voice was coming from. 

...except for mine of course. One, I'm way too bashful. And two, I have a boyfriend who is near perfect (all that's missing is a foreign accent... meh... i'm sure he can learn to speak with one. problem solved. haha! jokes. jooookes). 

Nonetheless, the day was pretty ordinary. Other than the guy walking past me on the sidewalk who turned to his friend and said, "Can we pull over? I have to piss". 

Oh.... OK. 

... I Am Haley, An Amused City Virgin. 

And so it begins... the series of embarrassing events that have been happening my whole life and that I was hoping I'd be able to evade in Chicago. 

Acting like a noob when you just move to a big city is acceptable. There's no way that anyone can know everything about a vast amount of space in one day. So, if Embarrassing Event number 1 was that I got dreadfully lost, I would excuse myself. But this... THIS is never acceptable, EVER. 

I walked to a hip, urban store yesterday hoping to find some real sweet dishes. I got to this hip, urban store and ended up buying some hip, urban bowls. I felt this new surge of confidence all the while. Here I was, in Chicago, buying bowls so casually, so residentially. "I. Am. A. Chicagoan". Those were the four words that were floating in my head making me walk like I knew the place like the back of my hand. However, my new found city confidence came crashing down once I reached a crosswalk. A lady tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Hon, I just want to tell you that your dress is stuck in your tights". 

I could only reply with, "...........................................! Th-th-th-th-thanksss.......",

...which soon turned to "alksjdflkja!!!!! fkajsldkjf!!!!  :(" as soon as she walked away.

There I was, walking like I was the shit, wearing a cute, cute outfit, holding onto my hip, urban store bag and my left buttcheek was exposed to the world. I mean, yes, I was wearing thick tights, but I'm pretty sure my pink hearted underwear were highly visible. 

Ughh.. the horror... THE HORROR! 

I quickly fixed my ensemble and walked the rest of the way back to my apartment a little less full of pride. I suppose everyone needs a little humility once in awhile, right? It's a good way to keep a person healthily humble. And as of now, I'm the most humble person I know. 

... I Am Haley, An Inexplicable Embarrassed City Virgin. 

I feel that an introduction to myself is fitting for this blog's first post, but honestly... how boring. I'm sure you'll get to know me if you check up on what's going on every once in a while. Hopefully you find this interesting enough to do so:) 

I should, however, give you some background info. I'm Haley, a semi-sophomore in college. I studied photography at a little school in the middle of a cornfield last year, and let me tell you... ha! There was nothing going on. So this year, I decided to move to Chicago... and I unofficially switched my major to... *drumroll pleaseee*... animation. Yes. A big, big change. Chicago is the first big city that I've lived in, which is why this blog is titled what it is. Sorry that it isn't any indication to sex (or...um, lack thereof)... and I highly doubt that you'll be reading about any of it here. So if that's what you're looking for, please go pick up some seasons of Sex and the City (I actually love that show. Carrie's awesome...) and your copy of Cosmo (which, I admit, I read every once in awhile. no shame). 

Hmm.. yes. Getting off-track like I so often do. (If you're a writing major, you will hate me. Because I'm a very free spirit when it comes to punctuation, grammar, and keeping with one topic per graph. Basically, I suck, but please deal). I moved in yesterday, and it was exhausting. After getting my wisdom teeth out last week, finding out I developed dry sockets, and being told I've had mono for the past few months... the last thing I wanted to do was unpack my world. But I did, and the place looks... well, OK. haha! It'll get there though. Also, no internet yet. I have no idea who I'm getting this wireless from, but thank you. 

Not much has happened yet! But when it does, I'm sure you'll know. Something cool will happen in my new life and I'll be blogging about it in a coffee shop. I'm officially too white for my own good. Until next time! 

... I Am Haley, a City Virgin.