And so it begins... the series of embarrassing events that have been happening my whole life and that I was hoping I'd be able to evade in Chicago. 

Acting like a noob when you just move to a big city is acceptable. There's no way that anyone can know everything about a vast amount of space in one day. So, if Embarrassing Event number 1 was that I got dreadfully lost, I would excuse myself. But this... THIS is never acceptable, EVER. 

I walked to a hip, urban store yesterday hoping to find some real sweet dishes. I got to this hip, urban store and ended up buying some hip, urban bowls. I felt this new surge of confidence all the while. Here I was, in Chicago, buying bowls so casually, so residentially. "I. Am. A. Chicagoan". Those were the four words that were floating in my head making me walk like I knew the place like the back of my hand. However, my new found city confidence came crashing down once I reached a crosswalk. A lady tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Hon, I just want to tell you that your dress is stuck in your tights". 

I could only reply with, "...........................................! Th-th-th-th-thanksss.......",

...which soon turned to "alksjdflkja!!!!! fkajsldkjf!!!!  :(" as soon as she walked away.

There I was, walking like I was the shit, wearing a cute, cute outfit, holding onto my hip, urban store bag and my left buttcheek was exposed to the world. I mean, yes, I was wearing thick tights, but I'm pretty sure my pink hearted underwear were highly visible. 

Ughh.. the horror... THE HORROR! 

I quickly fixed my ensemble and walked the rest of the way back to my apartment a little less full of pride. I suppose everyone needs a little humility once in awhile, right? It's a good way to keep a person healthily humble. And as of now, I'm the most humble person I know. 

... I Am Haley, An Inexplicable Embarrassed City Virgin.